Which philosopher are you?
12 questions, 16 thinkers
Pick the answer closest to you in each of the twelve questions below. There are no right answers, and nothing is saved. At the end you get the thinker you think most like, from Socrates and Confucius to Nietzsche and Simone de Beauvoir, with a short account of what they taught.
You think like
All 16 philosophers in the quiz
Each of them has a page of their own about who they were and whom they influenced.
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The Questioner
Socrates c. 470–399 BC
You learn by asking questions, and you enjoy a long argument with a friend. Socrates wrote nothing: he questioned people until both sides reached an impasse and said he was sure only of his own ignorance. Sentenced to death in 399 BC, he took the poison rather than let his friends help him escape.
Who was Socrates? Socrates on the influence map Portrait: Copy of Lysippos (?), Public domain
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The Idealist
Plato c. 428–348 BC
You keep looking for what lies behind appearances. Plato's best-known idea is the Theory of Forms, and he made the written dialogue a form of philosophy. He founded the Academy in Athens, and Whitehead called European philosophy "a series of footnotes to Plato".
Who was Plato? Plato on the influence map Portrait: Marie-Lan Nguyen, Public domain
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The Scientist
Aristotle 384–322 BC
You want to know how everything works and to put it in order. Aristotle wrote on the natural sciences, logic, ethics, politics and the arts, and his works hold the earliest known systematic study of logic. Medieval Christian scholars simply called him "The Philosopher".
Who was Aristotle? Aristotle on the influence map Portrait: After Lysippos, Public domain
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The Provocateur
Diogenes of Sinope c. 404–323 BC
Status and comfort mean little to you, and you say so out loud. Diogenes lived in poverty, reportedly in a large ceramic jar, walked about in daylight with a lamp "looking for a man", and called himself a citizen of the world.
Who was Diogenes of Sinope? Diogenes of Sinope on the influence map Portrait: Unknown author, Public domain
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The Gardener
Epicurus 341–270 BC
For you, happiness is simple: good friends, modest wants and no needless fears. Epicurus taught much the same at his school in Athens, the Garden, where he and his friends ate simple meals and talked philosophy.
Who was Epicurus? Epicurus on the influence map Portrait: Unknown artist, Public domain
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The Steady Hand
Marcus Aurelius AD 121–180
You keep your head when everything around you goes wrong. Marcus Aurelius ruled Rome through wars in the East and on the Danube and through the Antonine Plague, and left the Meditations, one of the most important sources on ancient Stoicism.
Who was Marcus Aurelius? Marcus Aurelius on the influence map Portrait: Daniel Martin, CC BY-SA 4.0
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The Teacher
Confucius 551–479 BC
You believe a society rests on respect and strong families. Confucius taught personal and governmental morality, harmonious relationships and rule by virtue. His Silver Rule: do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself.
Who was Confucius? Confucius on the influence map Portrait: Anonymous Chinese painter of the Western Han period, Public domain
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The Sage
Laozi c. 6th c. BC
You let things take their course. Tradition makes Laozi the author of the Tao Te Ching, a founding text of Taoism, and a keeper of archives at the Zhou court. Modern scholars are still divided on whether he was a real person.
Who was Laozi? Laozi on the influence map Portrait: White whirlwind, Public domain
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The Strategist
Niccolò Machiavelli 1469–1527
You see how politics actually works. Machiavelli spent years in Florence's diplomatic service, then wrote The Prince, which advises rulers to do evil when necessity demands it. His Discourses on Livy, though, helped pave the way for modern republicanism.
Who was Niccolò Machiavelli? Niccolò Machiavelli on the influence map Portrait: Santi di Tito, Public domain
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The Rationalist
René Descartes 1596–1650
You trust only what survives your own doubt. Descartes refused to take earlier philosophers on authority and arrived at "I think, therefore I am". He also joined algebra and geometry, and the Cartesian coordinates carry his name.
Who was René Descartes? René Descartes on the influence map Portrait: After Frans Hals, Public domain
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The Sceptic
David Hume 1711–1776
You believe what you have seen, and you admit that feelings drive most of what you do. Hume argued that habit, not reason, makes us expect the future to resemble the past, and that the passions govern conduct. Kant said Hume woke him from his "dogmatic slumber".
Who was David Hume? David Hume on the influence map Portrait: Allan Ramsay, Public domain
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The Principled
Immanuel Kant 1724–1804
You hold yourself to rules you would want everyone to follow. Kant made reason the source of morality, with the categorical imperative binding every rational agent, and hoped for perpetual peace through a federation of republics.
Who was Immanuel Kant? Immanuel Kant on the influence map Portrait: Johann Gottlieb Becker (1720-1782), Public domain
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The Rebel
Friedrich Nietzsche 1844–1900
You question every value you were handed and want to live by your own. Nietzsche wrote in aphorisms and irony, traced Christian morality to a genealogy of masters and slaves, and answered the death of God with an affirmation of life.
Who was Friedrich Nietzsche? Friedrich Nietzsche on the influence map Portrait: Friedrich Hermann Hartmann, Public domain
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The Seeker
Søren Kierkegaard 1813–1855
For you, how one person lives matters more than grand abstract systems. Kierkegaard, often called the first existentialist, wrote about choice, commitment, angst and faith, many of his books under pseudonyms that argue with one another.
Who was Søren Kierkegaard? Søren Kierkegaard on the influence map Portrait: La Biblioteca Real de Dinamarca, Public domain
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The Revolutionary
Karl Marx 1818–1883
You look at who owns what and who works for whom. Marx argued that societies develop through class conflict and wrote The Communist Manifesto with Friedrich Engels; Marxism went on to guide revolutions and states in the 20th century.
Who was Karl Marx? Karl Marx on the influence map Portrait: John Jabez Edwin Mayall, Public domain
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The Free Spirit
Simone de Beauvoir 1908–1986
You will not let anyone else write the script of your life. Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex (1949), a detailed analysis of women's oppression, became a founding text of contemporary feminism, and her fiction won the Prix Goncourt.
Who was Simone de Beauvoir? Simone de Beauvoir on the influence map Portrait: Moshe Milner, CC BY-SA 3.0
How the quiz works
Every answer leans towards one thinker and a little towards one or two others, and your result is the thinker your answers lean towards most. The descriptions come from the Wikipedia articles on each philosopher.